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寝れないぉ

なので、徒然と( ´ω`)


何となく思い立って、昔自分が書いていた文章を読んでみた。
うーん、、青いwww
まぁ根本は変わってないんだけどさ、その手法と言うか形がね。
同時に当時の気持ちも思い出して来た。
あまり思い出したくない部分まで('A`)


人が生きてりゃ出会いもあり別れもあり。
別れる時には「また会える」って思ってたら、その後一生会えなかったりもする。
それも含めて出会いと別れなんだろうけど、でもやっぱり寂しいよね(´・ω・`)

俺は昔からモノが捨てられないタチで。
それって結局モノと別れる事が出来ないからなんだよな。
だから、逆にまた変える様なものとかはポンポン捨てられる。
人一倍そう言った事に弱いんだろね、多分。
勝手なもんだよな、俺www


俺には大事なものが沢山ある。
それは凄く幸せな事であると同時に、それが自分を少しずつ縛っている事も確か。
けれど、それは俺に取ってはそんなに苦じゃないんだよね。
それ以上に、その荷物を放り投げる事の方が数倍辛い。

若い頃はそんな事なかったんだけどな。
いや、そうでもないか。
未だに実家の俺の部屋には小学生時代に熱中したミニ四駆が現役そのままの姿で残ってるしw
まぁグリスとか腐ってるだろうから、ちゃんと走るかどうかは知らんけどな。

それでもこと人間関係に於いては、今よりよっぽど執着がなかった気がする。
簡単に人を切り捨ててたしね、俺って。
我ながら酷いとは思うがw

でも、別にそれで何か痛みを感じる事は正直なかった。
そんな事よりも自分が好きな様に生きる事の方が数倍大事だった。
それが今となっちゃ見る影もないって言うwww


過ぎ去った日々に思いを巡らせる事に何の生産性もないけれど。
時にその事が自分をまた豊かにしてくれてる様な気もして。
たまに、ほんのたまに過去に思いを巡らせてみるんだよね。
まぁ何度も言うがそこに何か成果とかを求めての事ではないんだがw


人間を感情的な人間と理論的な人間の二種類に分けたとき、俺は典型的に後者のタイプ。
だからか、感情に素直で直感に従って生きるタイプの人間ってのがイマイチ理解出来なかったりする。
あ、べつに否定してる訳じゃなくてね。

ただ、少なからずそう言った人に対しては根本的な部分で分かり合えないんだろなとは思う。
まぁ人が人を分かるだなんておこがましいにも程があるがwww
それを言っちゃおしまいよってね。

でも、、心の底では逆に羨ましくも思ってるんだろな、俺は。
どんなに努力しても自分には出来ないから。


そう言えば俺は、昔スケボーやってたんだった。
昔の文章を読んでる過程で思い出したんだが。


↑こんな感じで飛んでましたwww

楽しかったな、アレは。
その頃はいつも全身傷だらけだったし、なんだったら骨も折ったけどさ、ライブ2週間前にwww
まぁそれで止めたんだけど、今でもたまにやりたいなと思う時はある。
アレって歳喰ってからじゃなかなか難しいだろしね。
でも今は無理だな、うん。


と言う訳で、懐かしい写真とともに今日はここら辺で。
おやすみなさい(´=ω=`)

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